The scale hasn’t seen me in almost a year. The last time I dared to step on, it read a sobering 130kg. And judging by the way my clothes are clinging on these days, “sobering” might be an understatement. My back is a constant ache, and my knees are on the verge of mutiny.

Thankfully, heart disease isn’t a family curse, though high blood pressure lurks around but with the help of medication it stays away. But living to same age as my father is now? That requires a change. Now, I might reach that age even with my current habits – they’re not terrible. I don’t smoke, and alcohol is a rare indulgence. But a wheelchair seems like the more likely destination.

So, I’m taking action, but forget crash diets! Those are recipes for disaster, both during and after. Diets can work if your weight gain is temporary, like after an injury. But if your lifestyle doesn’t change, the weight rebounds with a vengeance. Lose weight with a diet, then gain it back (plus some)? No thanks.

What’s the plan, then? No 100km marathons for me. Phase one is simple: less sugary pastries. Not complete elimination, just moderation. I’m already a walking shopper, and I’ve begun a physiotherapy exercise course to strengthen my back muscles, fascia, and tendons. That’s it. Small steps for now.

Why the slow approach? Because sustainability is key. Overhaul my life all at once, and it’s a recipe for failure. Right now, the changes are manageable, making it easier to stay on track. Remember that first gym session where you were so sore you could barely move the next day? Not happening!. My legs felt the first day of the physiotherapy course, but it wasn’t crippling. In fact, I’m weirdly looking forward to the next session.

Most of my weight gain happened over years, with the last few kilos piling on recently. Losing it will be a similar gradual process, maybe a little faster.

Now, about a strange encounter during a recent show. A fan’s direct messages left me bewildered. During the performance, I had no clue what was happening. Maybe he was drunk? He mentioned missing my eyes, which is odd since I never show my face. He even shared some very personal details of his life. I was ready to block him but my computer crashed. Later, after the camera was off, I reread the messages. He had mistaken me for someone else! He used the wrong name – not my real name, not even my stage name. Drunk? Probably (read definitely).

There was a whole rant here about rude and clueless people, but I scrapped it after rereading the messages. Yes, some people are like that. But this was something else.

Here’s the takeaway: please don’t ask to meet cam performers in real life. Sure, there are some who do that, but don’t assume it applies to everyone.